He broke my heart
by Jblaze08
Summary: After a series of text messages our boys are hurt in more ways than one. Happy Ending Maybe?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER****: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

A/N: Well I'm not completely sure yet but depending on how everybody feels about this. It may become more than a one-shot so review and let me know what you think.

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_**Just a little back story so before you read so you won't be lost or confused or anything like that. Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan have always been close friends. That was until Javier and Lanie broke up. Javier goes and confides in Kevin about what he was feeling and one thing led to another while they were drinking beers. It's now 6 months later and they are in a secret relationship because to everyone else they are straight. Kevin thought things were going good until it happened. Now that we are all caught up to this point… Enjoy the story…**_

Kevin walks in through the door and puts his keys on the table and walks over to the couch and drops down beside Javier who is sitting there watching television.

"Hey babe." Kevin says leaning over giving Javier a kiss.

"How was work?" Javier asked.

"It wasn't bad actually. It feels different without you there." Kevin said laughing kicking off his shoes.

"Yeah right. Go ahead and rub it in my face." Javier said

Kevin laid his head down on Javier legs and cuddled up to his boyfriend. Even though this is still new to the both of them it felt right to him. He smiled a little as he felt Javier shift under him.

"I have to pee babe" Javier said trying to slide up from under him.

"Alright." Kevin said sitting up.

Javier went in there and did what he had to do and while he was in there a lot of things went through his head. He came out of the bedroom with a jacket on and grabbed his keys.

"Where you going? I just got here." Kevin asked.

"I'll be back. I got a text from Beckett to come down to the precinct." Javier said walking out the door.

Kevin got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen and started rummaging through the refrigerator. He started to pull things out so he can throw something together so when Javier got back they can eat dinner. As he started to pull pots from the cabinet he heard his phone ring from the living room and it was Javier's ring tone. He opened his phone and was surprised at what he read.

"_Is there someone else that I should know about? If so I won't be upset and I will completely understand if you wanna see other people" Javier sent to Kevin_

"What? Where did that come from?" Kevin asked replying back.

"_Right now at this point I don't think I am ready for love like you are. I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore"_

"You can't do this anymore? You were just up here sitting beside me and you couldn't tell me this to my face you had to leave and send it to me in a text message?"

"_I'm sorry but please don't make this harder than what it needs to be. I really do care about you and you know that but I don't think I can give you what you want."_

"You are what I want!"

"_Look with all the things that have happened recently I need to get things straightened out and I don't want you to think that I am using you."_

"I don't think you are using me. I tell you everything that goes through my mind. Don't you think I would've told you if I felt like you were trying to use me."

"_Think what you want."_

"I'm just not understanding this. I thought this were going good between the two of us."

"_Look please don't make me repeat myself. This is hard on me."_

"Hard on you? This is hard on me. I told you that I loved you and that if you wanted we could tell our friends about us whenever you were ready and you said thank you"

"_Okay"_

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"_Stop! Just please get all of your stuff and get out. Leave the key and go. I can't do this anymore and you are making it harder than it needs to be."_

"Javi!"

"_I'm sorry but right now I don't see myself falling in love with you and you deserve someone who can meet you halfway" _

"I told you I'm okay with you not saying that you love me."

"_I'm still not over Lanie. I still love her."_

"I knew you weren't completely over her by the way you look at her sometimes. But I understand that and I promise I'm okay with that."

"_I don't see myself being physically, emotionally, or anything close with you right now."_

"What are you talking about? We've already had sex plenty of times. How can you not be physically close to me?"

"_Please just leave." _

"I'm already packing up my things. I'm just upset that this is happening. This hurts like hell."

"_I'm sorry Kev I really am. I really do care about you a lot."_

"Sorry? If things weren't going good why didn't you tell me when you first started feeling like this?"

"_I was holding back because I didn't want to hurt you"_

"You were holding back? I would rather you tell me in the beginning because no matter when you decided to do this it was gonna hurt me."

"_Please believe me when I said I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you like this. That is the last thing that I wanted to do."_

"Well too late for that."

"_I'm sitting here crying because it hurts like hell right now."Javier said._

"How do you think I feel? I'm balling right now."Kevin replied

"_I'm sorry"_

"Stop saying you're sorry. That's not gonna fix anything. I regret ever telling you that I loved you because ever since then I had a feeling that you were starting to push me away a little bit but since you were my first boyfriend I wasn't sure if that was just my mind playing tricks on me."

"_Please don't cry. You deserve someone a million times better than me." _

"How can you tell me not to cry. Stop telling me who I deserve. I want YOU!"

"_Can I text or call you tomorrow? I still want us to be friends, plus we still have to see each other everyday at work" _

"If you want you can but I'm pretty sure I want be any better."

"_I'm sorry Kevin"_

"I'm leaving now."

"_I promise you Kevin that you are the only guy that I've ever wanted to be with and you are the guy that I want. Maybe later down the road we can try again."_

"Your key is on the counter."

"_I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry."_

"Me too."

"_I hope one day you can forgive me."_

"_Kevin"_

"_I'm so sorry. I truly am."_

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this. Don't forget to review!**_

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_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER****: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

A/N: I put a lot of thought into this and after a reader who wants to remain anonymous I've decided to at least try to make it more than a one shot. I hope I can do it justice.. Anyways I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.

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**_This chapter takes places weeks after Javier broke up with Kevin. Things were still a little awkward between the two but they were making the best with the situation that was given to them._**

"Esposito and Ryan go down and see Lanie and see what she has for us from the gun shot victim." Beckett said dropping a file on Ryan's desk.

"Where you guys headed?" Javier asked Beckett.

"Castle and I are going back to the crime scene because he has this idea that we overlooked something. Plus I want to go question one of witnesses again because I just didn't buy her story even though her alibi checked out." Beckett said before walking off with Castle.

"You ready?" Javier asked Kevin while putting on his jacket.

"Go ahead down there and I'll be behind you in a minute." Kevin said as he began to write on the paper in front of him.

Javier looked down at Kevin before walking away. Everyday he sees his face he regrets what happened and he wish he could take it back in a heartbeat.

Kevin glanced up and watched as Javier walked away. He was in love and he got hurt and even though it's been weeks since "that day" it still stung. He knew that it would take time and being around Javier was not good for him and it wasn't making things any easier for himself.

Grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair he began to head towards the elevator.

~~In the morgue~~

"Where's Ryan?" Laine asked.

"He's coming. He had to finish something first." Javier responded.

"Well I had a really great time with you last night. I'm glad you decided to go with me." Laine said as a smile came across her lips.

"Me too. It was nice." Javier added.

"I had an even better time when we went back to your place." Laine said with a chuckle as she looked down to her clipboard.

Kevin stood there in silence behind them as he heard the end of that conversation. Clearing his throat to make his presence be known he noticed that Javier jumped a little as he was startled.

"Why are you so jumpy all of a sudden" Laine asked looking at him strangely.

"No reason" Javier said as Kevin walked up beside him.

Javier looked out the corner of his eyes at Kevin wondering if he heard any of that conversation and hoping that he didn't hear any of it because that would make things worse. If it's one that he knew and he could tell when Kevin was upset about something. He noticed that Kevin jaw had a slight jump to it which meant that he was getting upset. That's when he felt his heart fall into his stomach.

"So after going over everything it seems as the gun shot wasn't what killed our victim but he was poisoned.." Laine said

"What was he poisoned with?" Kevin asked

"Tetrodotoxin"

"What is that?" Javier asked looking extremely confused.

"It's a poison produced from fish like the puffer fish, the porcupine fish, and the sunfish." Laine answered.

"Where do you pick up something like that?" Ryan asked with a little irritation in his voice.

"Well all I can say that our victim has traveled recently because he had to ingest it. More than likely he ate something before he boarded the plane and soon after getting off the plane he was in the abdomen." Laine added.

"But I thought you said the gunshot isn't what killed him." Esposito asked with a look of confusion on his face.

"It's not what killed him but it did contribute to his death. See he was already poisoned so since he probably didn't know he would've died sooner or later. But after he was shot and his body began to slowly shut down and bleed out the poison began to move a little faster through his system and kill him." Laine explained.

"Okay well Kevin call Beckett and fill her in" Javier said.

"Yeah" Kevin said rolling his eyes at Javier and walking out of the room.

"What is that all about?" Laine asked.

"I don't know. I think he is just having one of those days." Javier said not wanting to out themselves to Laine.

"Okay well will I see you tonight?" she asked placing the clipboard on the table.

"I think I'm gonna just have some guy time with Ryan you know. We haven't really hung out in a long time." Javier said.

"Okay maybe next time." Laine said.

"Hey let's go. Beckett wants us to meet her at the crime scene." Kevin said peaking his head through the door.

As the two walked through the hall and back to the elevator it was completely silent. As the elevator dinged and the doors opened the next minute riding back up would feel like hours.

"So what was that earlier?" Javier asked.

"What are you talking about?" Kevin responded nonchalantly.

"_Okay Kevin, you know exactly what I'm talking about"_

"I really don't Esposito"

"_Oh so it's Esposito now?"_

"That is your last name"

"_Okay anyways, why did you roll your eyes at me earlier?"_

"I didn't roll my eyes at you."

"_Look I know we aren't together anymore but I still care about you and I know what it looks like and how you act whenever you are irritated about something."_

"Well if you know how I act when I'm irritated then you should have no problem figuring out why then." Kevin said indicating that the conversation was over.

With that the doors open and Kevin walked out without saying another word. Javier walked out behind him knowing that he screwed up and he didn't know what to do next.

_I hope he didn't over hear what Laine and I was talking about. Maybe that's what it is. He will never forgive me for doing that but we aren't technically not together. But I still love him and I can't hurt him like that. Those thoughts continued to run through his heads. As much as he tried to beat around the bush he knew what it was and he had to accept what happened._

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_All suggestions for new chapters are always welcome…. Feedback good or bad is also welcome…_

_I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter._


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER****: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

A:N/ I don't have anything against Laine or the actress who plays her. I think they are both beautiful. But when you enter my world you never know what will happen J.

Hope everyone enjoys this chapter.

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"I'm so glad that this case is over." Kevin said handle the case to Beckett to finalize everything.

"I still don't understand why he did it. It seems like he just got bored and woke up and decided he was going to kill him." Beckett said as she looked over everything one last time.

"So what are you going to do tonight?" Castle asked as he walked up with Esposito behind him.

"I don't know yet. I may just go grab some Chinese or Mexican and just stay in tonight. I'm actually pretty beat." Kevin said

"BORING!" Castle said with a laugh.

"Why is that boring?" Kevin asked.

"Because it's a Friday night man. You need to go out on the town. Meet a couple of ladies and break a few hearts." Castle said trying to sound like a playboy.

"Oh Castle you're gonna go home and do the same exact thing." Beckett said receiving laughter's from her team.

"No I'm not. Contrary to what you believe I am a very popular man." Castle said.

"Whatever you say Castle." Beckett said as her and Castle began to walk to the elevator.

"So you're just gonna get some food and call it a night?" Javier asked.

"Yeah I think so." Kevin said.

They stood there for a couple of seconds in awkward silence as they both fumbled over what to say to one another. Javier knew what he wanted to say but how much would he get to say before Kevin walked away.

_What's the worst that could happen? I just want him to know how I feel._

"Hey Kev." Javier began to say before being cut off.

"Don't waste your breath." Kevin said walking to the elevator.

"_You don't even know what I was gonna say"_

"Does it go something like "It wasn't what it sounded like or It didn't mean anything"

The elevator doors open and they both boarded the elevator and pushed the button as it closed.

"_Kevin that's not fair."_

"That's not fair Javi she's your ex-girlfriend. I don't think I have to tell you how stupid you sound."

"_Just let me explain it."_

"You don't owe me any explanations but so far you're doing a bang up job."

They heard a ding and the elevator doors opened. Javier held hand up and to prevent anyone from coming in. He pushed the button to close the door again.

"What the hell was that for?" Kevin asked looking pissed.

"I'm not letting you off this elevator until you hear me out. I don't care how long we have to wait." Javier said.

"You do realize that if we hold up the elevator too long that someone is gonna start to notice something."

"_Right now I really don't care."_

"You're seriously messed up in the head you know that right." Kevin said with nothing but seriousness in his voice.

"Please can we just talk tonight. There is so much that we need to talk about." Javier said determined.

"Fine. Just let me get off this hot elevator." Kevin said

Javier pushed the button allowing the doors to open. He watched as Kevin walked off and he couldn't help but stare at his butt as he turned the corner. He missed that butt and how good it felt. Walking with a smile on his face as he walked out of the building he had a plan in mind and he wasn't going to give up.

On his way home Javier made a couple of stops to pick up a few things for his plan to work. He made sure that he got all of Kevin's favorite things. He hurried home and began preparations but to his dismay he was surprised when the doorbell rang.

_That can't be Kev here already. I'm not even close to being finished._

"Hey sexy" Laine said as he opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" Javier asked looking confused.

"I thought that I would surprise you." Laine said pushing past him and inviting herself in.

"You're in for a surprise alright." Javier hissed under his breath.

"Were you expecting company?" Laine asked as she dropped her bag on the couch and headed to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Javier questioned as he followed behind her.

"Something smells good. What are you brewing up in here?" she said.

"Food. Why does it matter to you?" Javier said.

"Fine then. You never answered my question either. Are you expecting anyone?" Laine asked again.

"Yes actually I was and I think it would be better if you'd leave." Javier insisted as he pick her bag back up off the couch.

" Ah. Someone is being a little pushy today. After last night I figured you'd be in a better mood" Laine said grabbing her bag out of his hands.

"Okay" Javier said.

" I don't know who is coming over but I hope they're better than me. Laine said.

"They are." Javier said and opened the door.

"Um Hey" Kevin said as he stood there awkwardly as both Javier and Laine stood in the doorway.

_OH MY GOD! This is not going to go over well. Why did she show up and ruin my plans. Please don't over-react Kev._

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_All suggestions for new chapters are always welcome…. Feedback good or bad is also welcome…_


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER****: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

A/N: I can honestly say that after writing and erasing and writing and erasing I still don't really like this chapter this much but it had to be posted sooner or later.

Anyways I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter.

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"Did I interrupt something?" Kevin asked as he looked at the two confused.

"No she was just leaving." Javier said pushing her out the door.

"Fine. I can take a hint." Laine said as she made her way down the hall.

Javier stood there for a minute taking in the handsome man in front of him as he stood there awkwardly.

"Are you gonna come in." Javier asked.

"Are you gonna invite me in?" Kevin asked.

"Kevin you know you're always welcome here." Javier said stepping to side allowing Kevin to walk by.

Kevin walked over to the couch and sat down and just stared at the blank television. Occasionally he would glance over and see Javier walking back and forth in the kitchen.

"So um what are you cooking?" Kevin asked.

"Don't worry about it. You'll love it." Javier said.

"Is this a supposed to be a date Javier?" Kevin asked shifting his body to face the kitchen.

"No can't I just invite you over to talk without there being an alterior motive." Javier said trying to not to be so obvious.

"Okay then."

"_Kevin you know you can cut the tv on right?"_

"Well this is your place and you didn't have it on so I didn't want to cut it on."

"_Kevin don't act like that. You know where everything is."_

"Okay then Javier if you say." Kevin said turning back around.

Javier watched as Kevin began flipping through channels and decided to go sit with him for a bit while the food continue to cook. He didn't want to make things more awkward then what they already were so he sat at the other end of the couch.

"So how are things with you" Javier asked.

"Really" Kevin said.

"_What?" _

"Was that the best conversational starter you can come up with after everything?"

"_C'mon Kevin give me a break. I'm just trying to make things right."_

"Yeah I know." Kevin said running his hands through his hair.

"I'll be right back." Javier said running to the kitchen to take the food out the over and cut everything off.

_Why am I really here? He broke my heart in a text message and now he wants to make things right. And why was Laine here? Are they sleeping together again?_

"You okay?" Javier asked sitting back on the couch.

"Yeah I'm fine." Kevin said snapping back to reality.

"You just looked a little lost in thought. What were you thinking about?" he asked.

"Umm nothing." Kevin responded.

They just sat there for a few minutes as they were watching Big Bang theory* in silence. Javier never really understood that show that much but he know that Kevin loved it so he would watch with him all the time and still watches it from time to time.

"Whenever you're ready to eat we can eat." Javier said standing up.

"Um okay sure." Kevin said.

"_Just go sit at the table and I'll bring you a plate."_

"No it's fine I can fix my own plate."

"_It's the least I can do Kev. You're a guest so let me serve you." _

"Okay" he said sitting at the table. He looked a little surprised because he has never heard him say something like that before.

"What would you like to drink?" Javier asked.

"It doesn't matter. Whatever you got." Kevin answered.

"Okay then cool."

"Dinner is served. Bon Apetite" Javier said placing the plate in front of Kevin.

"This looks good."

"_Thank you."_

"Really does Javi. I forgot that you're a bit of a chef in the kitchen when you want to be."

"_Appearance is just as good as taste." _

"Hmmm and it tastes even better."

"_Well I'm glad you like it."_ Javier said smiling pleased with the expression on Kev's face.

The two just enjoyed the meal while they ate not really talking so all you could hear were silverware clanking against the plates. As they were finishing up he knew that eventually he would have to tell Kevin what he wanted to talk about.

"Can we talk now?" Javier asked as he grabbed the plates and headed to the kitchen.

"Took you long enough." Kevin said grabbing his glass.

"Well I didn't want to just put it out there and not what would happen." he said.

"Okay well let's talk." Kevin said leaning against the counter.

"_So I know that I messed up pretty bad"_

"That's an understatement."

"_But that doesn't mean I don't care about you."_

"Yeah but not enough to where you could've done it to my face and not over a damn text message."

"_I'm sorry about that Kev I really am. You deserve so much better."_

"I still don't know why you even broke up with me. One minute we were watching tv and the next I get the text."

"Yeah I could've went about the better. Javier said.

"You think." Kevin retorted.

"_I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry. I feel like crap because of how I handled things."_

"How do you think I feel? I wasn't exactly jumping for joy either Javier and don't try to make me feel sorry for you. I was the one that was hurt no matter how you twist it around."

"_I'm sorry Kev."_

"And what's going on between you and Laine anyways. I'm not jealous or anything either."

"_That was nothing. We just made out once and when she wanted to go to my bed I stopped her." _

"Why?" Kevin said beginning to get irritated.

"_Because I still love you and I want you back Kevin."_

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_All suggestions for new chapters are always welcome…. Feedback good or bad is also welcome…_

_*Big Bang Theory- I used that because I freaking love that show and I just had to put it in there. In one of the drafts I had Kevin say "Bazinga" for the big bang fans but I decided that would just be too much._


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

A/N: First of I would like to apologize for the long break but I got busy in the real world. Also this chapter would've been up earlier but my computer went on the fritz and I lost everything. But anyways enough excuses. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.

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"_Because I still love you and I want you back Kevin."_

It rang through his mind like an alarm. The effect that those three words had on him took him by surprise. Yeah he still had feelings towards him but hearing that just made his heart skip a beat.

"Hmmm" Kevin said clearing his throat.

"What do you say?" Javier asked.

"_I don't know Javi."_

"Well the fact that you just called me Javi is a good thing."

"_What does that prove?"_

"The whole time we were together you always called me Javi not Javier." Javier stated.

"Irrelevant but okay?" Kevin said giving Javier a confused look.

"Why should we get back together?" Kevin asked as he walked over to the couch.

"Besides the fact that we both care about each other, we belong together Kev. You are my better half and I was too stupid to realize that until it was too late." Javier said

"Will things be different this time?" Kevin asked.

"I promise I will never hurt you again and that I will never give you a reason to leave." Javier said grabbing his hand.

"Honestly there is a part of me that wants to pull away and just leave but I was always at my happiest with you and I don't wanna be without you." Kevin said as a smile drew across his face.

"So let's do it. No rushing and taking it a day at a time."

"_How will I know that you won't break up with me again whenever you get bored with me."_

"You don't know but you just have to trust me when I tell you I'm never leaving you again."

"_Okay Javi I trust you."_

Javi leaned forward and gave Kevin a kiss and pulled him closer until their bodies were pressed against one another. They began to remove their clothes as they continued to kiss. Lips began to swell up, clothes lay on the floor as moans began to fill the air

Javier looked Kevin straight in the eye as he lay on top of him and said "I love you". With that Kevin wrapped his arms around him as their raging erections rubbed against each other. The feeling was like they were on cloud nine. They had sex plenty of times but for the first time they were making love.

Javier slowly slid inside of Kevin and watched as Kevin's eyes widened a little from not having sex in months.

"Did I hurt you?" Javier asked as he felt Kevin flinch.

"No. It's just been a long time." Kevin said as he started to relax a little.

Their lips pressed together as Javier slowly began to move in and out. His pace began to pick and Kevin started to moan as they both were enjoying it. Nothing could take this moment away from both of them.

"Damn babe. That feels so good." Kevin said as he got rough and left a bite mark on Javier's shoulder.

Javier didn't know what it was about Kevin biting him but that just gave him more incentive to flip him over. He laid on his back as Kevin rode him. Rubbing his hand up and down his abs while Kevin jerked himself off. He loved Kevin's body even though you would never notice it under all the suits he be wearing. He watched as Kevin's eyes rolled in the back of his head as he thrust inside of him. It was tight and warm and it made him weak.

He looked down at the body under him and bit his lip as pleasure surged through his body.

"Harder" Kevin said through his gritted teeth.

"Fuck Kev" Javier said as he tightened his grip on his lover's waist. The tighter his grip got the harder he began to pound the slightly smaller man.

Kevin leaned down kissing Javier and deepening the kiss as every second passed. As they continued to kiss Javier slowly picked up Kevin as he still stayed inside of him and carried to the bedroom. As he laid his lover on the bed he felt Kevin legs wrap around him and that gave him more reason to give it to him the way he wanted. They continued making love for almost a half hour before he felt a sensation began to rise up from his body.

"I'm getting close Kev. Damn babe." Javier said as he sped up in order to reach his climax. He let out a loud moan as he filled his boyfriend to the rim.

He gave Kevin a kiss as he made his way down to the throbbing erection in his hand leaving small kisses along the way. He slowly put it in his warm mouth inch by inch knowing exactly what Kevin liked. He continued to pleasure him as he felt a set of hands grab the back of his head not allowing him up which meant he was getting close.

"Fuck I'm about to cum." Kevin said as he felt Javier pump him as he sucked the head. His body began to twitch as he released his warm fluids in that warm mouth.

Javier looked up him and gave him a wink and a smile as he began to kiss him again. Kevin could still taste himself as they kissed through panted breaths.

"I love you so much Kev."

"I love you too Javi."

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_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this. Don't forget to review!**_

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

A/N: I would just like to thank Micrazy2 for your message because I've decided to take this in a whole different direction now. Let's hope I can do it justice.

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It's about 2 weeks since Javier and Kevin got back together. Things seem to be much better between the two and they were blissfully happy. But like all stories real life isn't like the fairy tells and something unexpected always comes along and shakes things up a bit.

They continued to live their lives day by day. Occasionally sleeping over each other's place and not wanting to rush things. Just taking these slow and doing it a day at a time.

"Good morning." Javier said as he walked into the bathroom as Kevin was getting out of the shower.

Javier smiled as he watched Kevin wrap the towel around his waist. He glanced down and saw that Kevin was semi erect and that made him hard as a rock. Kevin had started working out a bit and his body was toned and with the water trickling down his chest. Nothing but happy thoughts went threw his mind as he saw the form in front of him.

"Morning to you too." Kevin said leaning in for a kiss and before he knew it Javier pulled him until their noses were touching.

"You know what happens in the morning right? Javier asked as he pulled the towel from Kevin's waist causing it to fall to the ground.

"Yeah you're extremely horny." Kevin said kissing his lover with a smile.

"So how will we fix that? " he asked as he slowly pushed Kevin against the bathroom wall.

Kevin just began to smile as he felt a hand wrap around his now fully erect cock. They began kissing as Javier started to pump him and felt small vibrations in his mouth as Kevin began to moan.

"No babe." Kevin said trying to push him away.

"You know you love it." Javier said pressing their swollen lips back together.

Javier was happy the Kevin decided to stay over at the last minute because he loved making love to his boyfriend first thing in the morning.

"No babe. We gotta get ready for work. We are already late." Kevin said playfully pushing Javier off.

"Well the thing in my hand says different." Javier said giving it another pump.

"That's not my fault. But remember I have a little more control over my hormones than you." Kevin said kissing Javier again before walking out of the bathroom.

"You're such a tease you know!" Javier said throwing his shirt at Kevin as it was his turn to take a shower.

Both men are heading to work in their own vehicles because they have yet to tell anyone about the two of them being together. Since they stay on opposite sides of town lying and saying they decided to carpool would be ridiculous and suspicious. Both of their families know about the other but family is one thing and work is something totally different. If it gets out that they were together then one would have to leave the precinct.

"Morning boys" Captain Gates said as she appeared out of nowhere with a empty coffee mug in her hand heading to the break room.

"Morning sir." both men said wondering if she heard anything from the conversation they were just having.

((_flashback))_

"_No we can't tell them Kev"_

"_And why not? I know for a fact that they won't treat us any different and they won't tell the captain."_

"_You know why Kevin. Because if we tell Beckett and Castle then we will have to tell everybody and then we take the chance of one of us transferring."_

"_I know Javi but they're our friends and I want them to know."_

"_We will tell them when the time is right. I promise."_

"_Okay"_

"So Esposito what's this I hear about you not being into Laine like that anymore? Castle asked looking up at Javier.

"Where did you hear that from?" Javier asked looking confused.

"Oh so I was right then. You're still into her?" Castle asked.

"No I'm not and where did you hear this from?" he asked again waiting for a response.

"I'm a writer. It's my job to know these kind of things." Castle said smiling and taking a sip of his coffee.

" Well I don't know what you're talking about Castle." Javier said looking over at Kevin who was sitting at his desk unaware of what Castle was saying.

"Oh okay I get it. You wanna keep your new girlfriend under wraps for now." he said flashing him a wink.

"It's nothing like that." Javier said

With that he just shook his head and headed back over to his desk to finish some paperwork. Nothing too interesting was happening which is odd because the work day was coming to and end. It was a pretty uneventful day because they didn't have to go to any crime scenes or anything of that sort.

Javier said his goodbyes as the three of them were walking to the elevator. He purposefully left his keys so he had a reason to turn around.

"Hey I'll just see you guys tomorrow. I left my keys in my desk." Javier said getting back off the elevator.

Kevin looked up when he saw a shadow slowly creep over his paperwork.

"Are you almost finished?" Javier asked sitting down beside the desk.

"Yeah. But you could've left without me." Kevin said as continued writing on the paper in front of him.

"I know but I didn't want to." Javier said

"It's fine. Go and grab us some take out from somewhere and I'll meet you back at my place." Kevin said.

"Yes sir." Javier said standing up.

Kevin glanced up and saw the look that Javier was giving him. It was the kind of look he got before they had a heavy make-out session. But since there were still officers walking around he couldn't exactly kiss his boyfriend goodbye.

"I'll see you in a bit." Kevin said before Javier walked away.

Javier walked on the elevator and made his way down to his car as he proceeded to pick up some dinner like Kevin asked.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow Tom." Kevin said as he walked by a fellow officer. It was 20 minutes after Javier left so he knew he should be at his place by now.

Kevin stepped off the elevator and began walking to his car like he would any other night. He got in and cranked it up as usual but something didn't feel right. He looked around hoping to see something out of the ordinary but everything looked normal. Which in turn didn't really make him feel better.

He picked up his phone and began to dial his boyfriend to see if he needed anything on the drive home.

"Hey babe." Kevin said into the phone.

"Hey babe. I just walked through the door." Javier said.

"Okay well I'm just leaving now. I wanted to.." Kevin began to say before trailing off into his rearview mirror.

"Kev what's wrong?" Javier asked.

"Um nothing. I guess since nothing really happened at work my mind is playing games with me." he responded.

"Okay then if you say so." Javier said with a slight chuckle.

"Well do you need me to grab anything?" Kevin asked.

"No just hurry home." Javier said.

"Haha okay babe. I'll see you in a"

Javier eyes grew wide as he heard the sound of glass breaking through the phone. He didn't know what happened but he wasn't getting a good feeling.

"Kevin!" Javier yelled through the phone but there wasn't a response.

"Kevin are you there!" he yelled again but still no response.

* * *

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

**A/N: Just a little side note. I won't be updating again until after the new year. So think of this as a early gift ;) . Have a Merry Christmas!**

* * *

"Kevin!" Javier yelled through the phone but there wasn't a response.

"Kevin are you there!" he yelled again but still no response.

Javier made his way down the stairs as he ran down to his car. He could barely stick the key in the ignition because of how bad his hand was shaking.

He sped down the highway well aware that he was going over the speed limit but he didn't care. He just knew he had to get to his partner. His eyes begin to burn because he was holding back tears and he didn't want to cry. If he cried then that meant that he's thinking of the worst case scenario.

He continued to drive down the road he knew that Kevin was on. Kevin took the same route home everyday so all he had to do was just keep driving until he saw Kevin.

He felt his chest began to tighten as he drove up on Kevin's car which was wrecked. He saw the car was smashed from the driver side. He jumped out of his car running over to a familiar cop.

"Where is he?" Javier asked with panic in his voice.

The fellow officer looked at him with a worried look because he could tell that he was worried.

"The ambulance just left with him. The headed to the hospital." he said in a despondent tone.

Before he knew it he was back in his car burning rubber as the pedal touched the floor. After a 15 minute drive that seemed like forever he finally pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.

The doors flung open as he ran through them running to the E.R.

"Where is he?" he says through panted breaths.

"Where is who sir?" the nurse asked politely.

"Ryan. His name is Kevin Ryan." he said in all of one breath.

"Um okay sir. He was just brought in because he was in a accident. He was immediately rushed into surgery. You may go sit in the waiting area around the corner with the others." she responded.

He looked at her like she was crazy. Who else could've been here. "Others?" he asked.

The kind nurse just shook her head and pointed to the left motioning as to were everyone else was.

He began to run around the corner but stopped in his tracks when he noticed familiar faces all around.

"Beckett, Castle how is he?" Javier asked not even questioning what they were already doing there.

"We don't know anything. All we know is that he was hit by someone who ran a red light." Kate said as she stood up to give him a reassuring hug.

He paced back and forth for about 30 minutes worried out of his mind. They haven't heard anything and he's beginning to get very impatient.

"Kevin Ryan" A surgeon said as he walked through the door.

If Javier would've moved any faster he would've knocked the surgeon over.

"We're here for Ryan." he said.

"Well he is out of surgery but he is resting. I'm sorry to say that we almost lost him for a second but we brought him back." he said receiving gasps from the group.

Javier threw his hand over his mouth in shock. His eyes began to water and tear fell down his face. How could it be that just a few hours ago they were planning to lay up on the couch and watch television and be lazy for the night. When they woke up this morning, this was the last thing that either of them expected. He would give anything right now to trade places with Kevin. He doesn't want his partner to have to go through this.

"He had head trauma, a broken clavicle, and he broke 3 ribs. We had to do immediate surgery because one of the bones punctured his lung and he needed immediate attention." He continued.

"When we will be able to see him." Kate asked.

"Since he's out of surgery and resting you can go and see him. Just be quiet and try not to wake him. He will wake up when his body's done resting." he said.

"Thank you Dr." Castle said shaking his hand.

"No. Thank you officers for doing your job." he added before walking away.

Javier felt his knees began to get a little weak and began to fill a little light headed.

"Hey Esposito. You don't look so good." Castle said placing a hand on his friend's back.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just need to sit for a second and breathe.

Kate and Castle looked at each other before looking back down at the guy sitting in front of them.

"Are you sure you're okay Javier?" Kate asked squatting down to his level.

"Yeah. I wanna go see Kevin." Javier said standing up making his way to his boyfriend's room.

As he walked through the door he stopped in his tracks as he saw his partner looking so helpless. He looked as if he was a fragile piece of china that would shatter if you touched it. He quickly shut his eyes begging and praying that he was dreaming and that he wanted to wake up. He felt a hand on his shoulder that brought him back to reality. It wasn't dream.

"It's going to be okay." Kate said.

"Hey Kev." Javier said as he slowly walked over to the bed and grabbed his hand.

Kate watched as Javier grabbed his hand. She's never seen him like that with anyone before. Not even Laine who he supposed slept with. But with Kevin there was something different there and she saw it as tears came to his eyes.

"Well I guess he can finally get the vacation he's been trying to take for some time now." Castle said trying to lighten the mood only to receive a death glare from Javier.

Javier didn't care at this point who knew about the two of them he only cared about Kevin and that's all the mattered.

They sat there for a few hours in silence and just stared at Kevin. Castle would occasionally look at his phone to reply to a text who he assumed was his daughter. Beckett was just staring out the window into a endless sky.

"We're gonna go and get some coffee from the cafeteria. Would you like anything?" Kate asked as she stood up and walked to the door with Castle.

"No I'm okay." Javier responded.

Javier just placed his forehead on the bed and took a deep breath. The smell of antiseptics and Clorox still lingered around the room which caused him to clear his throat before he began to speak. He knew he was alone and that he could speak freely to his lover.

"I'm so sorry Kev. I'm sorry I wasn't with you. I know you an hear me in there." Javier said wishing for just a movement or a response letting him know that Kevin heard him.

"Please just wake up so we can home please. I'm not gonna have a good night's sleep with you in here because I'm gonna be in here every second even after you wake up. Castle and Beckett are here too they went to get some coffee. They are just as scared as I am, but you know I'm protective over my babe so I'm going out of my mine." he said making him smile. Kevin used to always tease him about being so protective of him like he was a little kid or something.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again either you hear me? I don't care how mad you get at me. I'm never leaving your side again." Javier said not noticing that Beckett was standing in the doorway with their coffees in her hand.

"I love you so much babe. We are gonna get through this I promise. We will get through this together." Javier said.

Her eyes grew wide when she heard those words. She slowly backed out and stood outside the door not wanting to interrupt something she wasn't even sure about. Yeah they were always partners but never in a million years did she ever think they would be more than that. But then it dawned on her and it makes since as to why they were happy these past few weeks.

"I love you." Javier said before standing up to stretch his legs from sitting in one spot for so long. He begin to walk to the door when out the corner of his eye he sees Beckett standing there right outside the door.

"Beckett."

* * *

_**I really hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

**A/n: I would like to apologize in advance for any misspellings or incorrect use of grammar as I don't have a beta. But other than that I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter.**

* * *

"_Beckett"_

His eyes were wide like he just saw a ghost. Not completely sure if he should pretend as if nothing happened or should he see how much has she had actually heard. _What if she didn't hear anything at all? Then that would give her reason to start suspecting something?_

They both stare at each other for a few seconds before breaking the silence.

"It all makes sense now." Kate said as she handed Javier the cup of coffee.

"What do you mean?" Javier asked with a questioning look as he took a sip of that coffee.

"The longing looks that you give each other like you wan to tear each other clothes off ." Kate said as a small smile crept upon her face.

Javier just looked down in his paper cup full of hospital coffee and the thought about how bad it tasted trying to take his mind off of what she just said.

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." she said.

His head shot up with a surprised look. No one knew about the two of them and the first one to find out about them is their captain._ Was it a trick?_

"What's the catch?" Javier asked giving her a puzzled look.

"No catch. You should know me better than that Esposito. Plus you two seem to be really happy together and I'm not one to judge." she said taking a sip of her coffee

Javier nodded and looked back towards his boyfriend who was still laying unconscious oblivious to what was going on in the outside world.

Kate watched Javier grabbed Kevin's hand. There was a mixture of shock and admiration and joy all wrapped up in one. The way he seemed to be so loving and caring to the other man as if there was not another person in the world. He would whisper sweet nothings in air as Kevin's hand was wrapped up in his and she knew that he really loved him more than he actually let on.

_~ring ring~_

"Beckett" she said answering the phone.

Javier looked up but didn't move an inch from the position he was in.

"Okay we're on our way." she said before ending her call.

She looked back at Javier to see that his eyes red and watery. The whole time she hadn't noticed that he had been crying again. But it's a sign that she never thought she would see from him.

"Don't worry about it. You stay here and bring him back to us. I'll have Castle meet me back at the station." she said before grabbing her jacket and walking out the door.

_(Later that night)_

The nurse was looking over everything and making sure that his vitals were stable and everything. She would occasionally glance over at Javier who would just give her.

"You've been here since Mr. Ryan was brought in." she said reading over the clipboard.

All that he could muster out was a simple "hmm".

"Who are you if you don't mind me asking?" she asked placing the clipboard back at the edge of the bed.

He looked up to her and gave her a look that made her heart swell. She saw his big brown eyes and just wanted to comfort him. He looked as if he had lost his best friend which to him it felt like he had.

"I'm Javier." he said.

"Nice to meet you Javier. I'm Samantha but you can call me Sam." she responded with a smile on her face.

He nodded and with that she left the room. He just watched Kevin as if he was sleeping. He wished that he was just sleeping because he would wake up at any time. He would come back to him and things will be good again.

Placing his feet at the edge of the bed making sure he didn't bump his boyfriend he positioned himself trying to make it a little more comfortable. He just kinda stared at the television in a daze as he began to drift of to sleep.

"_No. No. No." Kevin was yelling in his sleep. He was having the worst nightmare he could've ever imagined. He wasn't one to talk in his sleep. But on occasion he would mumble a word or two and Javier was a light sleeper so he would hear every single word and mumble and shuffle that was made by the other body laying in his bed. This wasn't just any other night. _

_They were called a crime scene earlier that day where there was a couple killed because they were gay. So in in retrospect it was a hate crime. Javier was always the one out of the two of them to hide his emotions a little better but with those beautiful blue eyes Kevin wore his heart on his sleeve. _

_For some reason seeing that couple made him think of himself and Javier. Being a detective you learn to never make a case personal or relevant to you because you will begin to think irrational and you will be at a lost. But seeing them Kevin threw that right out the window and Javier knew it when he saw those big blue eyes water up at the sight of the couple beaten to death._

"_Calm down Kev, it's gonna be alright." Javier said in a whisper pulling to the side out of hearing range of everyone else._

"_But look at them. That could be us. You mean to tell me that it doesn't bother you seeing that?" Kevin said realizing it sounded more like a question which isn't what he was really aiming for._

"_You can't let that get to you and believe I would never let anyone ever put their hands on you. They will have to get through me first and you know I'll put up a fight." Javier said putting his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. He wanted to just hug and kiss him but there is a time and place for everything._

"_Yeah yeah yeah. I know." Kev said as they walked back over to the crime scene ._

_(Later that night)_

"_No No No." Kevin yelled._

_Javier didn't even hesitate he shot up ready to fight with the assumption that his boyfriend was in danger. Until he looked down and the form laying beside him hugging his pillow with fear on his face._

"_Kev. Kev. Wake up babe" Javier said lightly shaking him before he began to shake him a little harder._

"_What.. What's wrong?" he asked looking up at Javier who was looking back down at him._

"_You were having a nightmare and you were yelling." Javier explained._

"_Really? I'm sorry." Kevin said feeling a little embarrassed_

"_It's okay. What was your nightmare about?" he asked._

"_Nothing. Just midget clowns." Kevin answered._

"_Okay. One, you've been watching way too much Supernatural. Two, I know you're lying. Was it about what happened at work today?" he said._

_Kevin just managed to let out only a sigh as he sat feeling the coolness of the headboard on his back._

"_Kev, you know that I won't let nothing happen to you. Like I said before we are in it until the end okay. Plus if anybody did try and hurt you they would have to lock me up for murder." Javier said with a smile even though he was being completely serious. Because he would kill for him. _

"_I wouldn't let you do that." Kevin said _

"_Love makes you do crazy things." Javier said sliding back under the covers with his lover in his warm embrace. He was wrapped around him like only someone who would protect him would be._

"_I love you too." Kev said snuggling into the warm body that held him tight._

_0000_

His eyes began to slowly open as he squinted against the lights surrounding him.

"Javi"

* * *

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

**A/n: I would like to apologize in advance for any misspellings or incorrect use of grammar as I don't have a beta. But other than that I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.**

**I would like to point out that I know that on the show that Castle and Beckett are together but I'm not sure if I will actually write them in as a couple or not. Because honestly to tell you the truth whether they are together or not will have any actual effect of how the story will be written. Anyways.. Enjoy!**

* * *

_What happened? Where am I? Why does my body hurt so bad? _

"Javi"

Javier was sitting in the chair leant back as comfortable as he could possibly be. Was dreaming about him and his boyfriend which wasn't something new. He heard his name but just dismissed it as a dream or wishful thinking. That was until he heard it again and it sounded like it was fading away which caught his attention. He slowly began to open his eyes when he saw that his boyfriend was awake.

"Kev, babe it's me." he said leaping out of the chair startling his boyfriend.

"What happened?" Kevin asked.

"Sshh babe. Don't talk. Save your energy." Javier said grabbing the cup of juice that was on the lunch tray beside the bed.

Kevin took a sip of juice carefully trying not to choke as he was still laying back at a angle. Thankfully nodding he began to push the cup away.

" Why am I in a hospital?" Kevin asked looking around the room.

"What do you remember?" Javier asked fearing for the worst.

He was ecstatic that Kevin was awake but he was suddenly scared of the fact that he couldn't remember anything. Maybe he was jumping the gun and making assumptions. So he just pushed that thought in the back of his mind and focused at the task at hand.

"Um.. Not much. I remember leaving the precinct and then heading home and that's about it." Kevin asked.

Javier rubbed his hands over his face. After hearing everything he realized that there was no mention of him at all. He just stared at him for a second looking for any kind of emotion but all he could see was confusion which was understandable.

"Do you know who I am?" Javier asked. Not really sure why he asked but he wanted to make sure.

"Yes I know who you are Javier Esposito." he said trying to let out a chuckle but it didn't come out as that. It came out more like a ball of air being released.

"That's it?" Javier asked not wanting to push the issue.

"Yeah babe that's it." he responded.

"Babe?" Javier asked with a smile.

"You thought I forgot that we were together?" Kevin asked reaching for his boyfriend's hand. Reassuring him that he wasn't forgotten.

"For a second I did."

"Javi you know that I love you way to much to ever forget you and don't you forget it." Kevin said pulling him down for a sweet kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Javier moved the chair closer to the bed so he could fill him in on everything that happened. He promised him that he would never leave his side.

_(Later that day)_

'_Knock Knock'_

"Hey. How is he?" Kate asked as she walked over to the bed.

"He woke up earlier but after he woke up they ran a few tests on him and checked him over. After that he said he was tired so I told him to just rest and I'll be here when he wakes up." Javier said.

"Awe." Castle said from the doorway.

"Dude. How much did you hear?" Javier asked standing up facing Castle who was now grinning like a little kid.

"Enough." Castle said walking over to his partner.

"Why didn't you tell me he was with you?" Javier asked looking at Kate with worry in his eyes.

"I came by myself to check on him. She didn't even know I was coming." Castle said jumping to the rescue.

Javier looked between the two of them and looked back at his boyfriend who was trying to shift around in that uncomfortable hospital bed.

"Your secret is safe with me." Castle said.

He shook his head in agreement before sitting back in the chair that was beside his boyfriend's bed. He thought about how it started out and only the two of them knew then it seems like the few people he ever wanted to know are the first to actually know about them.

If you would've asked him a year ago that he would be sitting with his boyfriend in the hospital he would laughed. This time last year he was an eligible bachelor of New York's finest and he was sleeping with women every night. Or at least that's what he told everybody the next day at work.

But that's what you do though. You go to work and make it seem like your life outside of work was worth living and made everyone envious of you and that's what he did. He wasn't completely sure why he did it but he did.

Maybe if he was honest with himself earlier he could've been with Kevin earlier and maybe this wouldn't have happened. But he knows better than anyone that if this wouldn't have happened it could've been something so much worse.

After Kate and Castle left and headed to their separate lives. He watched his boyfriend sleep so peacefully as if he had no an injury in the world. He stood up and gave him a kiss on the forehead before saying '_I love you babe'. _He made himself comfortable again for another night of sleeping at the hospital before drifting off to into his own slumber.

* * *

_**Now that both Castle and Beckett know about their relationship. Who's next in line to find out? Will it be a friend or foe? **_

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_

_-J_


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

**A/n: I would like to apologize in advance for any misspellings or incorrect use of grammar as I don't have a beta. But other than that I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. **

R&R!

_**First of all I want to say I know I've been gone for a while but I have a good excuse. I recently moved and with packing and unpacking it has taken up a lot of my time but now things have settled down I can get back to writing again.. So without further ado here is the next chapter…**_

_2 months later_

Javier eyes began to flutter as he woke out of a deep sleep. His arm draped over his lover who was still fast asleep. He smiled as their limbs were intertwined with one another. He slowly lifted his arm with ease making sure he didn't wake Kevin.

After grabbing a shirt out of the drawer he made his way towards the kitchen. Hunching over he skimmed the refrigerator for something to cook. He had a few ideas floating around his head so he knew what he wanted to make to give his boyfriend breakfast in bed.

After about 15 minutes passed he entered the room with a tray in his hands as the sweet smell filled the air.

"Wake up Kev." Javier said placing the tray down on the night stand.

Kevin turned over as his nose twitched with the smell of food. He lifted his head up and ran his hand over his face waking himself up.

"Javi what's this for?" Kevin asked admiring the display in front of his eyes.

"Do I need a reason to cook for you?" Javier asked sitting at the edge of the bed.

He just looked up and smiled at his boyfriend. He loved him so much and he loved even more when he did small and random things like this.

"I guess not." Kevin said with a smirk.

"But I do ask for something in return." Javier said

"I knew it." Kevin said taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Just a kiss." Javier said.

Kevin smiled and removed the tray from his lap and placed it beside him assuring it wouldn't tip over. He shifted his body so that he could reach Javier. He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend. At first it was just soft and gentle but it began to escalate.

"Hmmm. Save some for later." Javier said breaking the kiss with a smile.

"Your loss." Kevin said.

"Even with morning breath I love your kisses." Javier said as he stood up to walk out the room.

Kevin grabbed a pillow and threw it at Javier as he reached the door.

"Shut up!" Kevin said.

"I love you too." Javier said peeking back quickly before Kevin could grab something else and throw it at his head.

"Yeah yeah yeah" Kevin said as he began to finish his breakfast.

_Later that day…_

_Should I ask him about it? Are we ready for that step? Is he ready for that step? Am I ready for that step? Will he be upset or will he be happy?_

Kevin just sat there on the couch with his legs in Javier's lap. Since it's a weekend they were just gonna stay in that Saturday and have a lazy day. Everyone deserves one right?

The commercial passed and again the idea rushed his head with numerous ideas and questions. _I'm gonna do it. He won't get mad. It's a only a question sorta or maybe a suggestion. What's the worst that could happen?_

"Javier we need to talk."

Once again I want to apologize for the long wait. The next chapter will be soon.. Don't forget to Review!

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

**A/n: I would like to apologize in advance for any misspellings or incorrect use of grammar as I don't have a beta. But other than that I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. **

_**Also I would like to say that I know this chapter is a little short but hopefully the juicy tidbits in this can make up for it. As promised here is the next installment.. Enjoy!**_

Javier had his hand wrapped around Kevin's feet gently massaging them as they watched television. More or less of Kevin flipping through channels until they both found something that they would like to watch. They've been working hard lately and needed some quality time together.

He just happened to glance over at Kevin and he saw that expression he gets whenever he gets nervous about something. Usually he wouldn't pay it any mind but he shouldn't have a reason to be nervous when it's just the two of them.

"Javier we need to talk"

"Yeah babe what's up?"

"Okay I know that we've been together for a while now and I'm pretty sure that I am jumping the gun. But I don't ever see myself with another guy. You're the one for me and I want to spend my life with you. Which means that I see a furture with you." Kevin said.

"Aww." Javier said with a big smile.

"I'm serious Javi." Kevin said.

"Okay I'm listening." Javier said giving his boyfriend his undivided attention.

Kevin turned his body so he was facing Javier. For some reason he started to get butterflies in his stomach. He was terrified because this conversation could go in either direction. He was just hoping that this would work out in their favor.

"Well I want to have a baby." Kevin said.

Javier just sat there in silence not really knowing what to say. _He wants a baby? Why? Where is this coming from?_

"You want a what?" Javier said with a surprised look.

"A baby?"

"Okay yeah right!" Javier said.

"I'm serious Javi."

"Where did you get that stupid idea from?" Javier asked.

"It's not a stupid idea." Kevin quickly responded getting mad.

"Why in the hell would you want one of those for?" Javier asked.

"We've always said that one day we wanted kids." Kevin said.

"Yeah if I was with a woman I would have a kid, but I'm not with a woman and I don't want no damn kid." Javier said as the anger in voice became apparent to Kevin.

"I'm not saying that I want one right now. I'm just saying that sometime in the future I would like to have a child of my own one day." Kevin said.

"Well you're not gonna have one with me. If I wanted a kid I would've stayed with Laine." Javier said.

As soon as he said that he wished that he could've taken it back. The look on Kevin's face broke Javier's heart. He made a promise that he would never hurt Kevin again and by the look that was on his way. He just broke his promise.

"I didn't mean it like that." Javier said trying to rectify the situation.

"No it's okay. You've said enough." Kevin said standing up walking to the bedroom.

Javier slapped himself for being so stupid. He knew that he loved Kevin but he didn't know why the subject of having a child upset him the way it. He got up and walked to the bedroom and tried opening the door but it was locked.

"Kev babe open the door please." Javier said placing his head on the door.

He stood there waiting for a response but he didn't hear anything.

"I know you're upset with me and I don't blame you. I shouldn't have blew up at you the way I did and the things that I said didn't help either."

He slowly slid down to the foot of the door blocking the doorway. He wasn't gonna move until Kevin came out of that room. Plus there was no way out and he had to come out eventually..

Kevin just sat on the bed. Did he make a mistake opening his mouth?

_**Please don't be too upset with me. This wasn't the original direction of the story but halfway through I had an idea of a great way to shake things up a bit. Anyways.. I hope that everyone liked this chapter. **_

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

~J

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_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE SHOW CASTLE.**

**A/n: I would like to apologize in advance for any misspellings or incorrect use of grammar as I don't have a beta. But other than that I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.**

* * *

_**I saw a few spots in my last chapter where I forgot to put a word or two. So I need to proofread a little better, but I was so excited about posting the last chapter that I didn't read through it thoroughly.**_

"Open the door please."

Kevin just sat there on the bed staring at the door. He was mad and hurt but what hurt the most was Javier's last comment. Does he regret being with him and does he wish that he was with Laine and not him. Could their whole relationship be a lie. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he continuously wiped them away.

"Why did I open my mouth?" Kevin said to himself in a hushed tone.

"Kevin?" Javier said.

Kevin just sat there in silence as he continued to cry. The last thing he wanted right now was to look at Javier. He was so angry that he didn't want something to be said that he'd regret later.

"Baby please talk to me. I know you're mad at me right now but we have to talk." Javier said.

"Can you please just leave me alone?" Kevin said with a hoarse voice from crying and sniffling.

"Have you been crying?" Javier asked.

"Leave!" Kevin yelled at the door.

Javier jumped a little when Kevin yelled. He hasn't once heard Kevin raise his voice at him like that. He's never yelled at him and he knew he was in it deep. It made him feel worse that Kevin was crying. Tears running out of those beautiful blue eyes that he feel in love with. His began to water from anger at the situation.

He stood up and faced the door banging on it real hard.

"Open the door Kev!" Javier demanded.

"No!" Kevin yelled again.

"I give up." Javier said before walking away.

Kevin listened closely as he heard the front door to the apartment close. He breathed a sigh of relief. He can have some time to get his thoughts together. He just sat there for a second before going to get his iPod off the dresser and put his headphones in his ear. He began playing his favorite song that he could listen to over and over and never get tired of it. He sang along as everything played back in his head from a different perspective.

Javier walked back into the apartment and to the bedroom door knocking one more time.

"Kev." Javier said to no response.

He knelt down and begin picking the lock with the kit from the car he went to go get.

When the door opened he saw Kevin laying on the bed with his eyes closed and his headphones in his ears. He knew what was happening and he wondered if he should just lock the door and close it back or just do what he decided to do already.

Kevin breathed in deeply as songs began to switch. Seconds later he felt the bed move slightly which caused him to jump up in fear and shock.

"What the hell Javi?" Kevin said once he realized what happened.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Javier said.

"Ugh! Why are you in here. I said I didn't want to talk to you." Kevin said as he took the headphones and wrapped them around his iPod .

"I know but the longer we stay mad at each other the worst things can come of this." Javier said.

Javier looked up at Kevin who was still standing up and he can see his beautiful blue eyes were now read from crying. His cheeks were a shade of red also which wasn't any better.

"I'm so sorry Kev. I never meant for it to happen like this." Javier said reaching his hand out for Kevin to take a seat on the bed.

Kevin stood for a second before deciding to take a seat in the chair that was in the corner of the bedroom.

"Me too." Kevin said.

Javier just stared at Kevin searching for the right words to say. He knew the exact thoughts just wasn't sure how to articulate them.

"I want to say something." Javier said.

"You're saying it now." Kevin said.

"Just listen please." Javier pleaded.

"Okay." he said.

"Let me start off by saying that I'm sorry and I love you more than you know. Saying that if I wanted a child that I would've stay with Laine wasn't fair to you." Javier began to say before he was cut off.

"Wasn't fair? How about uncalled for." Kevin said.

"I know and you didn't deserve that. It's just the idea of a kid isn't bad but actually having one scares me. It's a lot of work and money and kids don't like me." Javier said.

"Kids are kids and they all take work. But with a loving family it always works out. But I guess you'd rather have that with Laine." Kevin said rolling his eyes.

"No! I don't want Laine. Don't you get it? I want you and if a baby is what you want then we will look into the options we have." Javier.

Kevin just sat there in silence not saying a word.

"Can you say something?" Javier asked.

"What do you want me to say?"

* * *

_**I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to review!**_

~J

_All feedback good or bad is welcome…_


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